6 Things Not to Do to Your Pastor

There have been scores of articles on the Internet concerning things to do for one’s pastor.  It is good to honor the pastor when honor is due.  There is great joy in pastoring and having the ability to teach God’s Word to God’s people and being a caring shepherd.  Yet, the office of pastor also carries great responsibilities and burdens.  Paul spoke about the burden when he wrote, “Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches” (2 Corinthians 11:28).

There are a lot of good people in churches.  They love their pastor.  Yet, they can unwittingly add to the burden at times.  It is some of those issues that I wish to address in this article.  These are some things to avoid doing to your pastor.  The result will be a lighter burden for your pastor.

1.  Don’t Send a Negative Text Message on Saturday
One Saturday afternoon I was in my office studying and getting my mind on the Sunday messages, and my iPhone alerted me of a text message.  It was from a member, who wrote, “I need to meet with you about some serious concerns.”  The message went on to say that he could meet with me Sunday night after church.  I sat there stunned!  How was I supposed to stay focused on feeding God’s people tomorrow now?  I replied back and requested that we meet now.  Why was I urgent about this?  Because I had received similar messages in past years via different venues (i.e. texts, e-mails, written notes, etc).  I have discovered that anytime a member wants to “meet with you,” but is not willing to say about what, it is usually bad news.  Normally, they will come into the office with their mind already made up to announce they are leaving.  (However, this one was the first time EVER in which that was not the case).  Yet, there I sat.  The member quickly texted me back that he could not meet any time that day because he was at work.

What should that member have done?  If he did not have time to meet right then, he should have said nothing until Sunday evening.  The stress and concern that I had over what may be the “serious concern,” caused an disruption that impacted the next day’s preaching.  The member certainly meant well, but it would have been better to wait until he could meet, and then bring it up.  The pastor’s mind would not have been distracted with that unknown concern.

2.  Don’t Ask for a Sunday Night After Church Meeting
If your pastor has labored all week in the Word and then preached two messages, he is worn and tired.  He may have also taught Sunday School, been in two committee meetings and worked with the choir.  I normally arrive at my church by 7:15 on Sunday morning, and do not return home until after the evening service.  Immediately after lunch, I return to the church.  By Sunday night’s end, my mind and body are tired.  Also, he may have dealt with problems that were handed to him immediately before a service.  Permit your pastor the opportunity to leave the building, go home and rest after the evening service.  Don’t ask him to stay for another one to two hours.  Schedule a time during the week when you can meet with him.  If it is important enough to take his time, it is also important enough for you to take time from your schedule.

3.  Don’t Approach Him With Negative Issues or Criticism Just Before a Service
I have lost count of the number of times I have been focused on the message and service, walking toward the platform, and someone comes up to me with a criticism or negative remark.  It is like the Devil says, “Let’s hit him one time before he gets up to preach!”  Why would anyone bring negative to the pastor right before the service.  Can he fix it right then?  Can he even address it immediately?  Of course not!  Then why not save it to later.  It may be discovered later that it is not even worth mentioning.  It may be that the answer to the problem will even be address by the message the pastor is about to deliver.  After all, the Holy Spirit knows about it beforehand, and He may have given the pastor exactly what is needed to deal with that issue.

4.  Don’t Expect him to Talk to You About Someone Else
A more complete way of saying this is…Don’t expect him to talk to you about someone else, if you are not willing for the other person to be present.  That is called gossip!  Do not expect your pastor to engage in that.  Would you approve of someone else speaking critically of you to your pastor, and you not be given the chance to defend yourself?  Then do not assume your pastor should do that for you either.  I have heard of pastors who do engage in such conversations.  They are biblically wrong for doing that.

If there is a problem with a brother or sister in Christ, then go to them “alone” as mandated by the Scriptures (Matthew 18:15).  If that does not work, THEN include another in the discussion, with the offender present.

5.  Don’t Assume That He Doesn’t Get Discouraged
There are some within a church who feel that the pastor is always upbeat and never gets discouraged.  They may not say it so bluntly, but they boldly declare it by their actions (or lack thereof).  These are often the same one who bemoan, “No one came to see me when I was sick,” or “No one called me when my sister died,” etc.  Yet, they have not sought to minister to anyone else in their distresses.

For the pastor, it is discouraging to see the empty spots in the pew, where faithful members should be.  It is discouraging to hear those dreadful words, “We are feeling led to leave.”  The pastor wonders, “What happened? Just a year ago the Lord ‘Led’ you here.”  It is discouraging when few seem interested in doing the work of the ministry, and YES it is work.

In the past I have had a certain person in our church who was a constant source of encouragement through written notes.  While a simple note may not seem like much, it was a HUGE blessing and encouragement to me and my wife.

6.  Don’t Assume That He is all “Prayed Up”
He needs your prayers too.  Yes, pastors also have those times when it seems prayer is ineffective.  We still pray, but it is an overwhelming encouragement to know that we are being prayed for.  We pray for the members of our flock, and it is great to know they pray for us.

In a former church, we had an elderly woman who could not attend.  Her declining health had taken its toll on her body, and she was homebound.  She lived two blocks behind the church.  One day, when in a visit with her, she encouraged me like few have ever done.  She said, “Pastor I sure miss being able to go to church.  However, I want you to know that every time you step to the pulpit to preach, I am sitting here praying for you.”  She continued, “At the 11:00 and 6:00 hours on Sunday, I begin praying for God’s hand to be on you, and I pray the service!”  WOW!  She may not have been able to get out to church with her feet, but she could get up to Heaven with her prayers!

I count it a great privilege to have been called into the ministry of proclaiming God’s Word and shepherding His people.  Yes, there have been many difficult times, but the joys of ministering to the people of God have far surpassed the difficulties.  I would not trade my life for any other!  The purpose of this article is simply to provide some simple thoughts that will help you to be a greater blessing to your church and its pastor.

There are certainly many other “do’s” and “don’ts” that could be added.  What are some things you might like to add to this list?